On this Episode of The Waiting Game!...

More waiting!! Woooooooo... lol.

I was so excited about this summer. It was going to be my very last one, as I'll be a working stiff soon enough. I was going to take a bunch of time off. I was going to relax. I was going to have a social life, and go out with friends, and sip drinks on a patio, and work out every day, and eat better, and sleep better. I was going to start to live a balanced life again and do all the things that I've been putting on the back burner in the name of achieving my goals and it was going to be glorious!! Now it's the middle of July and it doesn't feel like glory. It feels like waiting. It feels like I'm killing time... and I think that that is one of the most terrible things I've ever admitted.

I think part of it is that I've been so future focused for so long that I'm having a hard time just being in the here and now. Plus, I'm just so excited about moving and starting my new program, meeting my classmates and beginning this journey that it's hard to just enjoy myself. The next chapter of my life seems so much better than the one I'm in right now! I want to read ahead. Basically, it's a classic case of "the grass is always greener" someplace else. *sigh*

Why do I do this to myself?

So, I am waiting... but I am also trying to learn how to be in the now. I'm setting goals for other areas of my life and I'm learning about myself in the process. This may not be the way I thought my summer would go, but perhaps it's exactly what I need.

:)SweetPea

The agony of the wait...

Our applications were due to ORPAS by January 9, 2009.
The soonest I'll hear anything about my prospects will be at the beginning of April, when I'll find out whether I've made the cutoff for an interview at McMaster. Interviews are the 24th, 25th and 26th of April, 2009.
After that the soonest possible date to hear from any school about acceptance/rejection is May 15th, 2009.

Le cry! :'(

It's just such a looooooooooooong time to wait to hear anything. My university courses will be long finished by that time. I'll be packing to move... with no idea where I need to move to. Like, not just haven't lined up an apartment, but don't even know what CITY to look for one in!!!
I'm sure this must be the same agony that every applicant goes through, but it doesn't make it any easier. I feel I've got a very good chance of getting into at least one program... but there are no guarantees in life. And what the heck will I do if I don't get in?!?! *hyperventilates*

This spring heralds big changes for me... graduating and moving. But the unknowns about essential things like where I'm going to live and whether I need to find a job in this terrible economic climate (which I'll need to do if I don't get into the OT program - summer employment is already lined up but is contract work) are making me feel all barfy inside. :x
All this anxiety is making it really hard to focus on the last of my thesis and coursework... which is never good. It's like a big anxiety snowball that keeps building steam.

LE CRY!!! :'(

Okay... I'll stop now. I know this entry will just seem like a big whine-fest... but I think this experience of waiting and uncertainty is a significant part of the student-applicant process.
If you're applying in a future year, be forewarned.
If you're in the thick of it with me this year, send me a message! I'd love to commiserate with someone, lol. :)

SweetPea